Mmm I did my gpas and stuff in a spreadsheet, much fun. I got a B in English which I don't need atm >_<,,, You can go play around with my gpa though thanks to google here

Just change the letter grades to A or B or whatever and the gpa updates.

You can also save the file for yourself and edit the classes and whatever and use it for your gpa, but I doubt anyone cares...

Mmm. So I handed in my English stuff today. Last class that I have to worry about anything. 3 Finals next week not that I care so much, I need an 87.9 in chem, not hard, a B in Calc, not hard, and an 83 in Physics, laughably easy. I'm not so sure I did so well in my English, and I needed that to get the A :(

I talked to Adam (Rashap) about Physics, he had the teacher I'm going to have and says he's pretty easy, so I'll find him super easy ;p I thought Adam was some idiot though because all I've heard him talk about is partying and pointless social stuff and whatnot, but he's actually a Bio major which is cute. Figured he was some stupid liberal arts or something pointless.

And god damn fuck the gays and their god fucking damn fucking Bio.

Speaking of which, I've been thinking about dualing in some sort of Chem and Bio marriage but I really wasn't sure what. I like the sounds of Chemical Biology Which focuses a lot less on the organism and more on the chemical activity created within the organism. Still I'm interested in maybe something a degree less Biologyy, I really don't like Bio as a study but just an ancillary fun fact kind of thing, like physics. Whatever, it's all easy (and fun, to boot!)

I only need 1 point from my essay revision to bring my english to an A, supposing all my other revisions are also A's...

Art is an A and lab is an A.

I'm doing this more to talk to myself than to you. Whoever you are. I feel rude with how much I talk about my grades, like I'm show offy. I'm really just proud of myself, I've been a failure all my life with every single teacher I've ever had telling me I should be getting beyond straight As. And now I am. :) My 8th grade science teacher told me I should be going to MIT but with how I was going (and went) I would never get into there. It's been my dream ever since to go there, until recently I've looked up the stuff and actually Caltech is like MIT but more suited for Chemistry, and also a lot more fun (my kind of fun :)

I really worry about some other people and their grades and how they're doing, but on the other hand I feel I've been there done that and they need to step up to the plate and mature, it's not my job to lecture them nor is that my role or responsibility. Although I do hope that being a good role model and being fairly open about myself will help them. I wish the best.

I feel mentally mature well beyond anyone I know and I'm growing at a pace unbound. But I also feel like a little child always having fun, hopping around and singing and dancing and laughing. I like both sides, but where they meet is hard to reconcile and creates some tough boundaries in my self image. Having some friends here really filled in a void that devastated me last semester (on top of the pressures of everything being different) and I'm glad for this to have evolved within my life.

santogold bjork

It really annoys me when people think they're edgy and offensive and have to warn me that they're offensive.

I'm so self-centered I'm rolling my brain thinking they're jack shit.

I just mapped out all my journals, I had SIG, CD, FD, PG, and now this one. Yeah I'm not telling you them.
( Old Journal Shit )

I realized I'm at a point where I can deal with my past. I like where I am, a lot.



Me, I'm a creator, thrill is to make it up :p

Meeeep.

So I've payed off all the bills (except the elect.)
I got new shoes :D
I need underwear
I could use more socks
I want a macbook
and hard drive
and microphone
and camera
and ipod/car cd player thingamaboobob
but I got a mouse that works
I need to get an exam to get more contacts, and hopefully insurance will cover that.
I cleaned up a lot today
Going to see Matmos in July :D
Camping was cancelled
Looking for a new job
preferably something with benefits
after 6months... like starbucks.
I'm a lot more social
I'm doing well in school
I've lost plenty of weight and still losing
and no anorsexia :D
Super excited for Sasha to move in, Shirron can get out now please.
But what I'll never understand is
why can't I get a boyfriend?
I'm not ugly
mean
terribly annoying
or dumb
nor anything too terribly bad.
except maybe a little quiet.
School ends after next week.
A ton to do

:) I need a 75.6 average on my next 2 calc tests to get a B, which is totally doable as long as I do the hw. On the other hand the chem is gonna be a hard push to an A...

Psych - 1 test left, need an 83
Art - 8 pieces left to do at home + 3 classes left for an A
English - paper tonight, if it's an A I almost certainly have an A
Lab - A
Chem - A if I study...

All that's left are some Chem quizzes, a chem test next week, calc test next week, art hw, english paper, and calc/chem final.

That puts my GPA at 3.778 this semester, and a 3.433 combined, and a max gpa if I get straigh A's next 2 semesters of 3.770. I wonder where I can get with that :/

I'm doing my paper on ee Cummings, and I have to say I have a whole new respect for poetry.

dying is fine) but Death

?o
baby
i

wouldn't like

Death if Death
were
good:for

when(instead of stopping to think)you

begin to feel of it,dying
's miraculous
why?be

cause dying is

perfectly natural;perfectly
putting
it mildly lively(but

Death

is strictly
scientific
& artificial &

evil & legal)

we thank thee
god
almighty for dying

(forgive us,o life!the sin of Death






l(a

le
af
fa

ll

s)
one
l

iness

3 weeks until shool's over! I wonder what will happen by then...

But I calculated it's almost impossible for me to get an A in Calc unless he gives us tons of hw that I do all of, and get near 100's on the tests. Chem is similar but doable. Good stuff, I should ask him for some ec...

A little bit sometimes, work makes everything better O-o Which I'm having plenty of next week. But I might be able to pay off all the bills and stuff before semester is over which is great.



This makes me want to go to the meat section at work and put googly eyes on everything, be sho cuuute :D Also, Norman came out of nowhere and invited me to a party O_o,,, weeeird but whatever, it's just what I wanted. Also, Andrew and Adam are daties now :D I was sad at first but I'm over it and happy for them, no point wasting time when it's time that's needed. It's not like an incessant fawning is going to change their mind etc etc

Tyler invited me to the lake... really nice of him, I guess overall just a confirmation that the world doesn't hate me. Also, wearing silly stuff is fun, I think I already know what I'm going to wear tomorrow.


I wonder why I can't get a date, whhaat am I doing wrong :/

Hmm, I forgot whatever I felt I had to say, all I remember from it is that I need to find a way to find a way to hang out with people, I just don't and I want to :(


In other news, there's a good chance I could be going to Austria in August and I might even have a small chance to bring Sasha or someone along. I also need to get my passports renewed >_<,,

Mmm, so things have been well. I'm all scheduled perfectly now. I had a great week, I spent it at school from 9am-11pm doing various sorts of studying for Calc which went along amazingly. On Thursday I spent a time with Justin, Tyler, Adam, and Andrew in varying degrees of presence which is great. Then Friday was GSA, and Saturday they all went to Princeton but I had work. I applied to Starbucks and cut my hair, I hope both went well :p After work I came to Justin day and it was great to see everyone. I was talking to Brad which is always good and late at night. I think I talk too much though, to the point that it annoys me. Minor details, they can always change. I got a lot of work this week which is great... so much to say, so much for this being an open forum to say it.

Pictures can have words so I might as well just show you the way.
Fall

Summer


Andrew's in my micro which is good. That also gives me enough credits to graduate, I have 12 from first semester, and 18 from this semester and the next two which are 66 credits which is also what I need for the degree. I'll then also have Bio and Physics which is another 16 credits... My advisor said I could try staying for fall '09 and apply to transfer for spring semester '09 since there are fewer applicants... and if I did that I'd have enough credits to get a bio or math degree as well. The bio would be a lot easier becuase I need to take history for math. I only have 5 classes this semester not bad. I need to start doing after school stuff too, those look good.

I'm also doing really good now which is great, kinda funny how life comes together over stupid things.





There's a mum concert and I really want to go but I have Calc. All the fucking best concerts are on Tue/Thu night I swear.



I still can't believe I met Zeena, she's soooo tiny.

I'm feeling much better today. I lost 5 pounds and I have no money still, haha. I hope my internet doesn't get cut off but either way there's nothing I can do about it at this moment in time. Shirron said he'll pay half the gas and elect, and 10% of the cable. Which is good, the elect is at about $200...I need more work. On top of having to take a day off for the past 2 weeks, every week I've been getting less and less hours to the point now where I have as many hours this week as if I took a day off. I could probably even ask for more but then I'd have to work more. I plan to apply to starbucks, so then I'd work the week at SS, morning weekends at ss (that is, if they ever assign me hours during those times), and then nights on the weekend at sb. This is if they even hire me... But I've been working at SS for 2 years, I'm in college, I'm giving weekends, and I'll have 3 referrals which Lauren says is major good. I totally forgot to talk about why I'm feeling better, haha. I think it's just that I wasn't cooped up yesterday, after doing scheduling yesterday I was inside all day, and it's easy to get depressed when you're at home all day. I think I did 13 pushups today which is a record for me, haha. Also we're now planning a campanoodle trip to High Point for the weekend of May 17.

It's also amazing how genuinely beautiful an album is, even after time. The Dresden Doll's self titled... timeless and unparalleled.

I hung out with Justin on Wednesday and Thursday for a bit, Thursday was also with Adam and Tyler. Friends are good, but I constantly have this feeling that I'm not good enough, that I'm repetitive, boring, mean, and not particularly good looking.



I'm fixing up my bike. I want to go bike riding and take beautiful pictures, but I don't have a camera, but I do have other plans to make beautiful art, like always.

So I scheduled for the summer and fall. It looks like:

Summer, June and July
Physics 1+2
Calc 2

Fall Sept-Dec
Organic Chem 1 + Lab
Bio 1 + Lab
Astronomy (no more physics classes :(
Calc 3 with Gebhardt :X
Statistics
Electronic Music >:D
French 1
Sociology

Spring feb-may
Organic Chem 2 + Lab
Bio 2 + Lab
Linear Algebra? idk what comes after Calc 3
E-music 2 :D
French 2

Psych 2 or whatever, maybe?
Art 2 maybe??

I'm not really sure what else I'm going to be taking for spring next year, I've run out of classes... But god I spent all day scheduling ;_;

Also, I only have 3 finals this semester, psych, calc, and chem :D All of which are like normal tests in that class.

My fall seems like a bit much, I think I can handle it, I guess I'll see how the summer session goes.

God I have no idea how I'm going to pay all these facking bills. God help me.

I am endleslly dumbfounded at the college student's inability to read... Last time I checked, being able to read was formative to comprehension and communication, and yet my classmates cannot do it. Oh perilous world... showing every signs of losing your heart.

Mmm so what have I been up to? Oh yeah, car problems, what's new. Spent 4 days at Ursula's, Brad's a good cook and his making me feel like I do nothing really motivates me to do something. Hahaha. I made a list of schools I will try for, it's actually a fairly big list so I'll hopefully get into something. I want to try to get into Caltech, which means I really have to step up my game, a lot. But it's a challenge worthwhile even if I fail, it just means I'll get into some other school. There's only one NJ school though, Princeton, and I don't intend to go there or even apply really. Actually they're all in California, Great Lakes area, or Bostonish. Which means I'll be moving, and if Cali, then moving with my dad which means I'll get money from him and my mom will whine that she's alone because my sister is moving to Las Vegas. I've been getting less hours at work because they have a ton of new people, actually I'm getting about the same amount of hours just slightly smaller shifts. Which means more trips to work.

So last Friday my power steering broke, so my mom loaned me her car. Then I locked the keys in that car, so now I have to wait for her to mail me a key. But I really like her car so much over mine, seriously.

I dled the new Matmos album, and it's actually kind of disappointing. It's so short, not even 20 minutes, and then one 24 minute song. Even combined with 2 bonus songs, it's still a bit short. Gotta go do some work... byee



Also wtf, my phone seems to like to not vibrate for me when I get calls and messages and stuff. Seriously. I would put it on ringalong but I think that's so annoying...

Eeee, so I set up an ftp server. I don't really know how to tell y'all how to get onto it without just giving out the password to everyone... You can im me if you want on though, although no one will. Also, I was looking at schools. I want to go to Caltech, such a nicee school, but I'll never get in :/

Fun week funnn :D Slept at Ursula's house like the whore that I am.I can also text now so text away. And I have money,like, more than just a few pennies.

Dear 4chon

I got a sheep brain from my friend the other day. It's laying in my fridge, and now I want to know wwhat to do with it. I was thinking I could spraypaint it gold, or encase it in something. Tomorrow I'm going to Michaels, generic crafts store, to scope out my possibilities. Any ideas?

God dammit this was supposed to go to 4chon but I always forget that. Still applicable.

Man, I think I really really have hard feelings for someone. Whom, I'm not going to mention. But seriously she's like my image of perfection to every single detail, and yet I'll never be attracted to her.

Anyway, it's Spring Break. Ironically I finished my Pi book on Pi day, and today is Ides Martes. Some of my favorite holidays I say. So for SB, work decided to try this new thing called 3-7 raep, where they stick very large unlubricated dildoes up my ass at the most inconvenient time possible.

Sun 8-12 am
Mon 3-7
Wed 3-7
Thu 3-7
Sat 3-7

You can also check out, and bookmark my schedule here

What sucks as that rather than having 3 6 hours shifts or something I have 5 inconvenient 4 hour shifts and end up with fewer hours than normal. You can also check out, and bookmark my schedule here as always, but no one will pay attention haha. Or care really. I plan on hanging out with Sasha tomorrow, go to work, maybe come back and sleepover and hang out Tuesday and then Wednesday, work, do something here at night if someone wants to ???, work Thursday, maybe go to wayne, come back saturday and if no work sunday maybe go to wayne again. And fit some hw in there. Also after Wednesday I'll have some serious money and we cand do seriously cool things, seriously.

Mmm, I just got back from GSA. I actually had a pretty active day for what is a nothing to do day. I met up with Ryan and we went to Salvation Army and some other thrift store and it was fun, but still had no money haha. He said he was interested in going to Red White and Blue which is nice. I think he may think that I was bored which is never true. Not that this matters. Also this girl in my English class said she liked Animal Collective so I immediately took the chance to get her aim which I was trying to do all week, and now I just feel like an obsessive nuisance :p I unclogged the shower today with some chemicals and that is a very, very good thing. Showers should be clean. I also got a B on an English paper despite not having a draft, works cited, peer review, and being a page short. Which is saying a lot considering a lot of people who had all those were getting Cs and Ds. Yeah doing good in school is good for me :) So then GSA was fun haha, we played cards but that was fine, social is better than antisocial. Adam said he watched the videos, and I do too, so why not more.













Who is it, that never let you down :)

Haha I just have to...




Oh Joanna, God damn you for selling out. God damn you.




muuuuuuuuum :) muuu

AHHHHHHHH I got the new Sarah Slean album :D:D:D It's pretty decent, the only part that sucks are the bad songs hahaha. And Ursula has a brother! That wing album didn't download though :( But I has food! So nice to eat :):) I just inhaled a whole pizza :D:D Some girl added me on facebook... she seems cool so that's good, more friends are friends friends friends.